Angels Losing Sleep
by RoxyFoxy
Summary: [AU]After graduation Kagome,disappears and never to be seen again. Her parents gives up searching until something surfaces. .: Written In Kags POV:.
1. Angels Losing Sleep

_**.:Angels Losing Sleep:.**_

_**You'll understand perfectly why the title is called ' Angels Losing Sleep.' **I wrote this after reading something about how common this stuff is in America and all over the world. It's sad but it's true- don't give up- you'll never know what the truth might be._

_Graduation- Finally the day had come. I had never seen my mother so proud of me and actually crying tears of happiness, and sadness. She had been happy that she had witnessed her daughter grow up to become something beautiful and grow up, to achieve and move on and be whatever she wants. I knew the other reasons why she shed those other tears because of my father- He had passed on, but she really wished he could be here to cheer me on when I was given my diploma. _

" Kagome look, Kagome!"

_I could hear my little brother Sota, before I could ever spot him out of the crowds of parents and friends who with all their cameras remarked a huge group of paparazzi. _

_We all stood in a perfect line; Girls went in one side, and the guys down in another. I hated my dress; It was long and bright red. I was never the girl to be seen with my hair done up in butterfly clips or even have the works of mascara, eye shadow, and eyeliner on my face. Somehow my mother had talked me into it. This day had been more for her than me, more than I ever realized._

" Kagome there she is mom! She's next!"

_My brother was jumping out of his skin practically, tugging on my mother's sleeve to have that camera in place and to snap all the shots they possibly could until I felt blind. I didn't mind though- It was just a couple more hours before I could throw the dress off and say goodbye to all my friends that were moving away, going onto college- doing whatever they planned with their lives. The girls behind me were giggling, the girls I hated with a passion who always seem to have their noses up in the air. They bragged the whole entire time to others how expensive their dresses were, and honestly no one gave a damn. I just wanted to hit them as hard as I could but, it wasn't the time or the place. I was thankful I wasn't going to see their powered faces ever again._

_Ayumi was behind me. She just nudged me while two more girls proceeded delicately down the aisle of the auditorium. _

" Kagome, your nervous aren't you? I'm not. I'm actually excited! After this I'm moving in with my boyfriend. Getting an apartment and a part time job at that classy restaurant that's a block away from your place. Maybe you can come visit when your not busy with your love life!"

_Ayumi's smile you could see across any room. She seemed so happy about moving on, everyone did. With me, I just wasn't excited at all. I was so use to wearing my school outfit running down the halls late for classes, and getting myself out of dates my friends always tried to push on me. I wasn't ready to start a life yet- as odd as that felt coming from me. Everyone looked at me at the girl who was ready to get out there and do whatever I pleased. Not likely. Sad part was I was already missing people. People close I knew who were moving miles away._

_I was already missing Sango. I could only imagine her beside Ayumi in a beautiful long black dress that was just as beautiful as Ayumi's ivory one. She would have the most pure smile and I knew she would of loved to be here like the rest of us. I knew with the others I couldn't find or get Sango back. It just wasn't possible. I just tried to keep an open mind, and placed another one of my famous fake smiles that everyone believed was real._

" Hey I'm never busy with my love life. I guess if you count Hojo placing this corsage on my wrist and asking me to come to his place after the graduation party. I guess you can consider that something."

_Ayumi nodded. I just stood around, barely looking even alive or excited by the fact of graduation at all. I just looked back at the main hallway behind us and stared through the windows, waiting the snow slowly falling down making a huge white blanket against the ground. I had been so side tracked by the snow fall and the thoughts of Sango, I barely even realized I was the next one standing in line._

" Kagome it's your turn."

_Ayumi spoke with amusement in my voice and pushed me forward. I walked in. All eyes glued to me. I strolled down the aisle with a smile and with a bounce in my step as crowds of friends and family were screaming and cheering, even guys whistling from the back. The guys ran up with dim-witted smiles, who appeared to have been drunk before they came. Which were all good friends of mine, who failed grade twelve at least twice._

" Kagome high five. You show them. You show them man.."

_I laughed, while there I could hear the screaming that was louder than the rest; My family. _

_My brother had been placed on my mother's shoulders in order to see past everyone so he could get a clear shot of me walking down the aisle. He held the camera to his face, while my mother waved with a smile and a glimmer of tears streaming down her cheeks. Sota waved and screaming until I waved back, and took more pictures until I had been out of sight. _

_We were all arranged to seat in our proper seats. I had been between Hojo and Ayumi which wasn't the greatest mix. A guy who completely interested in me, and a girl who loved getting him interested in me. _

_The screaming and cheering had finally died down, while Hojo smiled dressed all proper in a suit; which all girls found a little disturbing to see. Hojo had the flower pinned and the long bloody red tie, and his hair pulled back. He just smiled at me, and squeezed my hand tightly which gave me chills._

" I'm surprised your still wearing it. You don't look too thrilled to be here. What's a matter?"

_I looked down at my wrist; seeing the beautiful small white flowers and the sparkling ribbon that tied them all together. His hand cupped over mine, and I couldn't help but blush at the idea. I wanted his hand off of mine but, I wasn't going to be rude especially on this day. He invited me over, and suckered me in so I was only let him be with me for a night no longer than that. He tried so hard to get me, and eventually I gave up fighting him off._

" _I'm fine, believe me I'm fine."_

_He turned his head slowly, as the lights had dimmed until the whole place was so dark you could only make out outlines and shadows. The front stage lit up with all bright white lights, and simple decorations of glittery streamers and real flowers in the corners of the stage. The principal had finally made her way to the front, fixing the microphone as though she had been doing this for four years straight. _

" I'm very proud of everyone tonight. Some of you struggled to get here and we are proud you managed to move on with the rest of your friends, and get out there. I'm proud of the people who tried and strived to be excellent. This is why all of you are today. You tried, and it shows. Today is the time to look back on memories during the year. The funniest moments to the saddest. Another is a special tribute to the people who couldn't make it, but only in spirit."

* * *

_While everyone kept their eyes on the screens of all the pictures of students and stupid faces, most were playing with their lasers and throwing paper airplanes in the back. The principal cued for the people at the side of the stage behind the scenes to flick off the stage lights, and put on the front screen._

_It went through a huge slideshow; there were pictures of unfamiliar people and most were friends and people I was very close. There was lots of girls laughing, and guys pulling pranks and doing the bunny ears behind one another's heads. There had been one of Hojo and I at the last school dance. My face had been flushed and you could tell by my expression it wasn't my idea of a picture it was his. He looked at me briefly when he saw that picture and squeezed my hand, and turned back to the screen. You could hear a lot of laugher from the auditorium when there was a picture of guys doing some dance, and pretending like they were kissing. Music played along with the pictures. Section by section they went through. Sports, school, dances. Then there was one picture that struck me deeply; it took my breath completely away. I had the felling in my gut like I was falling when I saw it._

_It was a beautiful picture. Spring- The grass finally resurfaced from the snow and everyone in short sleeves, shorts and skirts. There it had Sango; She had a white skirt and a bright blue skirt with her laying on her side, laughing as she was trying to push her hair out from her eyes. There was a lot of her, and most I took. But that spring picture was the best out of all. Her smile was just so beautiful and pure and she didn't deserve what she got. _

_My cheeks were burning, and tears were quietly streaming down my cheeks. I didn't want to look at them, but at the same time I just had to. In a way it was the only glimpse to see her at all. Through photos and memories. They just weren't enough. It was too painful to look at. I tried to look around the place to keep my eyes away, anything would of done it. When I looked around I looked at all the different groups of parents lined up against the wall, cameras hanging around their necks patiently waiting to take another shot of their kids in their suits and dresses. There was one parent without a camera around her neck. Sango's mother. _

_I could barely make out it was her until I saw someone come in. There was enough light for a moment to make sure it was her, and it was. Even though her daughter wasn't here she still came. She still managed to gather her courage to go, almost like she envisioned Sango sitting in the seats near us laughing, living life like the rest. She had a tissue locked tightly in her hand bringing it close to her cheeks every moment she caught a glimpse of her on the screen. Kohaku had appeared through the door with a handful of tissues and quietly leaned against the back wall beside his mother. When it got to the opening of loved ones, she bowed her head down and tugged at Kohaku's hand. Her hair hid her tears as she walked out. It was too much for even them to handle._

_She knew it was about Sango; She knew she'd be one there. She was only one of the two that disappeared. _

_The principal came back on stage with a half smile knowing this was coming to a hard and serious part. The lights flickered back on while everyone went dead silent as she had a speech already prepared. Hojo squeezed my hand again for support, he could see me shaking and tears already streaming down my face. He slowly leaned in and placed his lips almost close enough for me to feel them against me._

" Kagome I know you miss her. You loved her, we all did. She was a great person. Are you going to say that speech up on stage for her you wrote out? Or-"

_Hojo had great concern for me. He knew how close we were. It was a bond, and friendship we never thought could be broken apart. We dreamed of going to California as a road trip, we even started saving chump change into a jar for it. We knew it would be a lot, but we were both determined to get there in an old RV even if it killed us. It had been Sango's idea for a beautiful trip. Her father walked out on her whole family, and the last place he called on a payphone was in California. She believed she'd find him there, and that's where she wanted to go._

_I bowed my head down, while his hand gently pressed against my flushed cheek wiping away the tear that was streaming down. _

" Yes." _My voice shaky from being over whelmed with emotions, and going up on stage in front of everyone talking about the friend I lost. It was hard but I knew in my heart I had to. It was important to me and I knew she would do the same for me. _

_The principal calmly adjusted the microphone on the stand until the sound came loud and through the speakers. Her smile faded, tilted it directly to her tainted red lips._

" This part is special out of all. It's a time to remember those who have passed on. Some we were friends with, with others even family. They were special people who had their time cut short but, they will live on in our memories and our hearts. We cherish theses pictures we have of them, and made them into a slideshow. After the slideshow we will have some speeches by fellow students. So please remember and respect them and the people who loved them. It's sad but they are the people who gave, and gained so much in return. So please take time to remember."

_The lights went off once again. Most people were settling down from their conversations, and at that moment Ayumi and Hojo looked at me, their eyes open wide as though they were feeling the exact same pain. Ayumi leaned in forward, her body half way out of her seat until she could get close enough to me. She crouched down in the aisle, enough that she could look at me._

_Her hand just brushed my shoulder, and she just placed on a smile as best as she could, seeing her eyes were just on the verge of watering. " Kagome, I miss her. I miss her as much as you do. Look, I know it's hard to talk about her, even in a speech. Words on a piece of paper don't describe her enough. Listen after this, I'll come up with you for support. Ok? Hang tight Kagome. It will be alright."_

_Ayumi was a very loving person. Even in her words you could hear it, and definitely feel it. She kissed me lightly on the cheek while I nodded, too overwhelmed to even say one word. _

_My eyes busted open as though I had been awaken horribly from sleep. My hand grasped on tightly against Hojo's, and he calmly closed his hand over mine for support. He understood clearly it was hard to see pictures of someone you loved, who passed away even if it wasn't resent. It had been at least a year and a half. To most that seems like plenty of time to get over something like this, but if you love them it's takes a whole life time to accept and get over the fact their gone. _

_There were so many of her than I realized; One was of her looking after little kids. One of the girls with pig tails sitting on her lap with her little arms holding her tightly, and Sango smiling looking always happy. Another was of her at the Halloween dance dressed in a cat costume with the little ears and the tail she seemed quite shy about wearing. There was another of her playing a mean game of tennis; her hair pulled back and inches away from hitting the ball. Then there was one of her and I. Our faces were so close to the camera but it was a nice shot. Her cheeks took up half of the picture, her eyes disappearing from her laughter. Me, trying to a hold a smile without screwing the picture up. _

" _I miss her Hojo, I miss her so much!" _

_I whimpered, and I almost felt weak. I hated crying and feeling like my throat was dry, trying to hold them all in. I just couldn't. I just busted out leaning in towards his chest digging my face into his shoulder, while his one hand bonded around my back trying to comfort me anyway he possibly could. He was whispering in my ear trying to calm me down, trying to remind me Sango wasn't real gone, she was here in spirit. Finally I could here the principal speaking ready for the others to make the speeches about them. My paper had been unfolded and folded so many times it went to a neat paper, to one that looked like it had been cherished over and over again. I didn't know how to condense how I missed her in words, and make it short and sweet as possible. It killed me to write it, but at least I had something. _

" Now this is the time for people who want to say and speak on behalf of the loved ones. Please line up on the side."

_I stood up from folding seat, and everyone could tell I wasn't stretching, they knew I was going up there the paper was a dead give away. I wanted to turn back and sit back down, but this wasn't about me it was about Sango, no one else.

* * *

_

_Ayumi supportively placed her hand on my back and helped me right the aisle until I was in clear sight of the huge steps onto the brightly lit stage. I slowly grabbed the railing with all my strength, while Ayumi smiled sympathetically._

" Look I'll come right on stage with you. You know words on paper can't describe how you feel. Don't worry about timing or anything. This is all for Sango. Take as long as you want. Remember she's probably watching and listening right now."

" _Alright, thanks Ayumi."_

_Finally there I was, on the huge stage in front of a huge crowd of people. That wasn't my own fear. I just felt so small seeing all the faces of people from the school staring down at me watching my every move. Ayumi stood idly by the podium, very quietly waited on me to unfold that little piece of worn paper, and speak my feelings, whatever came to mind about her. _

_The minute I unfolded the paper, I didn't need it anymore. No words on paper could explain her. Only I could. All for Sango, nobody else. _

_

* * *

__Been awhile since I've written or submitted anything. I thought this would be good to write to keep me inspired and continue writing. I kind of stopped because I lost alot of inspiration and in my case that never, ever happens! But I'm back. I wrote this after I watched something that was a scary but true thing that happens all the time. You'll all understand once you get into this. Thanks Kandra for being supportive in all my work, and help me become inspired. _


	2. Explode

_It took me awhile before I decided to speak. I felt myself feel almost awkward standing there,with Ayumi on the side for support always there for me anyway she possibly could, and me wondering if talking about this would help do something for me._

_Everyone stood there with blank faces, waiting patiently for me to talk and I was just choking on my tongue. My eyes glanced over at Ayumi who placed her hand tightly on mind and gave me a look to go for it. I swallowed, and imagined Sango right on the center stage standing there with only a smile, nothing more. It was clear to me, I had to say how I felt about what happened to her, I kept it in too long._

" You can do it Kagome."

_Ayumi whispered softly, while she backed away enough for me to gain the spotlight. I just smiled remembering our memories gather and why I had been up here in the first place._

" No paper can describe the words how much you miss someone. A missing person, or someone that has passed on. It isn't easy to stand up here and talk about a girl who could be either of those things right now. Sango was probably one of the greatest people I've met in my entire life. She was kind to people, and she put others first before herself. She never let anyone down, not even me. It's been hard to sit here and not know if she's with us or not. She did not deserve to get what she did. She was captured, taken away without warning. I want to believe she's alive, people who are in the same spot want to too. Nobody knows how much I miss her. If she alive, like people claim I'll find her somehow-

_In the middle of my speech, Sango's mother had walked right back in standing exactly where she was when she had left. She stood there dead silent watching everything I said, knowing that I was up there to talk about Sango. Her eyes just peered directly at mine, and then my speech felt like it wasn't just to everyone, it was aimed towards Sango's mother._

" I believe she's alive. I have no doubt in my mind. Sango isn't the girl who just disappears. Maybe others don't believe that anymore or never have, but I strongly do. Nobody will understand my pain unless you took a walk in someone else's shoes."

_I instantly bowed my head down, the tears and anger were building up. I tried to stand tall but I was too overwhelmed with the idea of her being alive somewhere, someone keeping her captive doing whatever they pleased with her. It cut so deep, it was hard to even describe that feeling._

_Now looking in her mother's eyes she had lost her happiness, looked like she lost everything in her life. She looked like an empty shell; as though there was nothing left of her anymore. She tried her best to continue for herself and especially Kohaku who had become an only child. It was hard for him. Sango and him shared a room together, and to have one empty bed killed them. They would never be over what happened to her. They had pleaded and begged so much on news stations, talk shows wanting her back. Sango's mother had even said, " Have her today, take me tomorrow."_

_They were so many rumors about people seeing a glimpse of her somewhere in the United States. Someone caught a picture of a girl who looked like a complete whore walking with a man towards a truck. It was hard to believe when everyone got into the missing story about Sango. It was true that people would take them as sex slaves, problem was none of us truly knew if she was alive or not._

_Finally, I went off stage throwing myself into the seat wishing I could just drift away. Ayumi smiled rubbing my back._

" I believe so too Kagome. You were really brave to go up and do that. I know Sango would be proud, believe me."

_It was with that the whole assembly was over. I barely even realized I had sit been sitting there so out of it, not even realizing people were waving to me, graduating me for my speech or even have left the in the first place. I was seemed to be somewhere else of on my own. _

" Kagome, were the last people here. I think your family is anxious to see you! Come on!"

_Ayumi screamed loud enough to snap me out of my little trance. I just couldn't accept that Sango was gone, even after all the time that time she wasn't around me at all. When it came down to it, it was such a tragedy that I went into deep thought whether she was alive or not. A lot made jokes about it that she was probably dead laying in some forest, her body rotting into the forest floor. I didn't believe that one bit. I knew she was out there, but whoever had her was a sick individual placed where ever she was with no free will. I imagined her begging to escape, and the way I viewed it was graphic and sometimes I wished at that moment she was in peace than taking kind of pain and torture._

_She wasn't the girl to just disappear. She always told her mother where she went at all times, always had her cell phone on her, and always came home at the moment she was expected. I couldn't label her as someone dead, I just couldn't. Not if there wasn't prove._

" I'm coming just give me a second."

_Finally the door slammed shut, and complete silence was all that was left. I felt so small by myself compared to the empty seats all around me. I allowed myself to cry as loud and as long as I wanted to, all I wanted was the impossible, to have my friend back. _


	3. Pretty Waste

_Without even having time to think, someone threw open the door of the auditorium until the light came in blinding me._

" Kagome there you are! Come on, mom already has the camera ready! She's been waiting…you alright Kagome?"

_Sota stood half my height, and knew by the look in my eyes I was ready to lie, lie about how I truly felt. I didn't want anybody's pity or sympathy at that moment, all I wanted was to be lie in my bed look over all pictures and finally accept that life had changed. _

_Sota wasn't about to leave me and wait for me to come out, he held my hand firmly to make sure I was alright. He never really cared how I felt, we usually just fought about pointless things like who ate who's candy bar, or why I unplugged his stupid video game system. When it came down to it, he cared a lot and something I wasn't use to at all._

" I'm alright, thanks to you."

_Sota nodded his head happily, and literally dragged me out of my seat. He refused to let go of my hand, as he trailed on ahead in the aisle and opened the doors to a hallway of crowds of people getting food, everyone from my school dressed beautifully in a dress, or a tuxes. _

_Sota dragged me towards my mother, who was standing around chatting with all the mothers she recognized when she had been at the school. She had never been happier, and even purchased a dress for this occasion. The last dress she ever wore was to her wedding, and my father's funeral. I knew she wanted him here with her to experience the feeling of happiness to watch us grow up before their very eyes._

" Mom! Mom, I found Kagome!"

_Sota jumped around with delight, as my mother just grabbed me with open arms so excited I had come this far._

" You've made me so happy Kagome, so proud!"

" Mom…it's just a graduation, that's all."

_She chuckled, flashing a quick smile as though I had made some funny joke that would bring the whole house down. She just placed her arm tight around me, seeing she was trying to hide the tears that were gleaming in her eyes. She brought her lips close to my ear, while my head rested on her shoulder watching the other people like me rejoicing and laughing for getting out of school, starting a new life._

" Kagome, to you it may be a graduation but believe me it's a lot more than that. You'd understand if you were a parent. Just you've grown up so fast at all. Won't be long until you get married and maybe have kids of your own. Same for Sota. It won't be long until we attend his grad too."

_Sota just stood aside quietly trying to listen to the private conversation between myself and our mother. He couldn't resist not listening to something like that._

" Mom who says I'm going to get married! Or have kids? Isn't that alittle early to even think of that? Who says Sota is going to graduate?"

_I made that last part as loud as I could, and Sota was already whining to my mom about my little comment. It was something I couldn't help but throw in. _

" He will. Don't tease your brother like that. It may be a little early for you to think about that, but for me it won't be long. Oh, I forgot to mention Sango's mother wants to speak with you."

_I just swallowed. I was almost scared to talk to her because I knew it would be something about Sango, and it wasn't the easiest conversation to have. It was so hard to even talk about, without seeing one another getting choked up about it. It had to be about my speech; It had been awhile since I actually spoke with her mother. Of course she had visits to my place bringing Kohaku so Kohaku could try to get his mind off his sister's death for awhile. It was lonely for him, and with him and Sota, it seemed like any other day._

" Alright thanks mom_. What could she possibly talk to me about? It will probably get so awkward, I don't know how we're going to do this…"_

_Slowly I moved away, back into the crowds of happy mothers and fathers pleased of their sons and daughters. I had to push my way through the crowd passing quickly through camera shots seeing a million different flashes going off at once. It was obvious Sango's mom wouldn't stand around in the school. Just seeing how the parents were, it killed her. She wanted to be there hugging and patting Sango on the back for the same reason. She couldn't touch or see her, or even speak with her face to face. All she had left was her memories and picture frames: Nothing more, nothing less.

* * *

_

_I went straight for the door towards the back of the parking lot. There was only a few cars who had came to drive people back home, to celebrate their happiness and success. _

_The minute I walked out I could feel the coldness from the light falling snow, hitting against my shoulders, feeling the warmth from inside disappear behind me. Simply I looked around as far as I could see, and there was no sign of her at all, not even Kohaku either. _

_I just stood outside watching more of the light fall of snow come down onto the ground, watching younger kids fully dressed in their winter wear playing in the snow as though they had no worries. My eyes were caught by this small blonde girl thrown down by a snowball, and another young boy coming to her aid. It made me smile, to see him pick her up carefully and walk off making sure she was completely fine. _

_With that, I felt someone staring at me from the corner of my eye. There was Sango's mother leaning against the huge oak tree away from anything, and everyone. She continued staring at me without saying a word. The look in her eyes said it all that she wanted me exactly where she was, and have this talk with her she wanted. _

_Quickly I walked towards her, barely holding a smile together. It wasn't one of those times to smile and be happy not with her from her dull lifeless expression. Sango looked identical to her, with the high cheekbones and the beautiful wide brown eyes. Awkwardly, we stood in silence feeling the snow and wind clash against bare body, covered with a thin material of silk. _

_She didn't really have to say anything. Just by looking at her it was almost like we could read each other thoughts. She gestured to me to sit beside her, crouching down against the tree trunk fixing my long red dress. _

_Her one hand just touched the snow eagerly with her palm, while the other stand carefully against her knee. Her head tilted towards the sky almost like she was trying to find Sango, a glimpse of her somewhere to know she was alive somehow. _

_After what seemed like five minutes, she had finally broken the silence.

* * *

_

" Kagome-"

_She spoke in mid sentence clearing her throat trying to hide the sadness that lingering throughout it. Without warning she pulled me close, binding her arms close around my waist hard enough almost like I could feel the exact pain that ran through her fingertips. That moment her head naturally rested it's place on my bare shoulder, and hearing a light but quick whimper-she couldn't hold in anymore._

" Kagome, you- you have no idea how grateful I was to come. I didn't want to come- It hurt too much without her in the picture. With your speech it was worth it. I thank you so much for doing that. I knew if you, losing something dear to you as well and still manage to come, then I could too I'm proud of you Kagome. It spoke out how I felt. You worded it exactly how I would. Just it would be hard to sum her up on paper."

_Her mother's voice was raspy, but her laugh was much more pure, almost girly sounding. It felt forever since I had heard her mother truly laugh the way she did. When Sango disappeared, it seemed like apart was ripped away from her .Nothing could fix the way she felt. When she came to me, she had a smile on her face, even laughter, it seemed only I was meant to see._

" Believe me, believe me it was."

_Her mother immediately pulled away, drawing her arms neatly back towards her chest and pulled herself up from the cold, wet ground. _

" Look Kagome, I think it's time you get in. Your going to freeze out here in that dress. Plus I don't want to keep your mother waiting."

_Softly I nodded, feeling my whole body slowly going numb from cold wind, and the snow blowing against me. It was hard for her mother to just walk away like that, or even mention how she felt even to me. She hid all her feelings, she tried so hard to continue for Kohaku, and it showed. She didn't want Kohaku to feel the same way she felt, she wanted him to continue as well grow up into something more and continue his life from there on out._

_The minute I had brought myself towards the steps edging closer to the door, I heard her voice once again._

" Kagome? I believe the same thing you do."

_Without a blink her mother disappeared behind the crowd of trees. She disappeared, and her voice still filled with sorrow. I knew exactly what she meant by what she had said to me. Her and I believed Sango was still alive; There was no doubt in my mind there was. _

_Snow was coming down heavier draping over my bare shoulders. I didn't realize how close Christmas was, and I still had a million things to do before then. Slowly I walked back through the crowds and my mother and brother stood talking to each other while everything just seemed to be in slow motion to me. Before I could make it towards them, I felt someone's warm hands grasp mine and thrown into a crowd of other teenagers who were laughing and screaming with excitement._

" Kagome I'm sorry I startled you like that."

" It's ok, honest!"

_Hojo apologized. My face felt flushed from his hand gesture. He stood around with a couple of other girls and some other guys, and by the look on his face he always had something to say, something truly important. His lips curved into a delightful smile trying to find the words to say._

" Well since it's the end of graduation I thought you wouldn't mind if you'd come with me to a graduation party. Everyone is going to be there, so you won't feel like the odd one out. That's if you want."

_The sadness I felt like it just disappeared into thin air. I wasn't the type of girl for huge parties around tons of groups of people, and loud music. I had always avoided parties all together after an incident between a drunk guy and one of my best friends. It scared me at the thought of it since what happened not too long ago. I had to call the police under the conditions and she ended up on the hospital for quite some time. She still had a scar right below the hairline from that night._

" _Well, I'm not one for parties Hojo. I'm not comfortable being around a whole bunch of people I don't know."_

_He chuckled, and just shook his head with excitement._

" Look I'm not the ones for parties either but I'm sure going though. Don't worry, you'll be with me and I won't let anything happen to you I promise. Plus all your friends will be there as well. I mean we graduated isn't that enough to celebrate? I celebrate with your friends one last time?"

_Hojo was always good at talking me in, and out of a lot of things. Before he was too overwhelming with his little baskets of goods and I hated that attention. He was too much for me to handle. Now it seems it was just perfect. If he didn't have that smile I probably wouldn't of agreed with him at all._

" I guess your right. One party wouldn't hurt_."_

_Hojo smiled happy at the fact I hadn't blown him off once again like I would normally do. I really wanted to go home and lay on my bed and drown myself in my worries and never ending thoughts, staring at the ceiling letting life past me by but, the party seemed a lot better than doing that again._

" Seriously, your going? Usually when I try to do something with you, you seem to be busy all the time. It's tomorrow night, so I'll come by around eight. C'ya then Higurashi."

_He softly waved off while I only stood dumbfounded, wondering if the choice I made was actually a good idea. I just hoped he would keep his promise and make sure nothing would ever happen to me, ever.

* * *

_

" Kagome, there you are. How was your talk with Sango's mother?"

" It- it was different. Let's just put it that way."

_In the midst of my explaining my mother was already adjusting the lens on the camera, and my brother who looked like he ready got his tux stained and dirty somehow. My mother could see from my expression on my face that the conversation wasn't the greatest between me and her. Ever since Sango died, it just wasn't the same. I could talk to her mother for hours on end if I saw her somewhere and now there was barely anything to say at all now that she was gone._

_Kohaku and Sota still managed to keep their friendship going strong. They were still going over to see each other, just there was less time since Kohaku had finally discovered girls. _

" Kagome, smile for the camera!"

_I just glared at her, she knew I hated having my picture taken. Especially by her; she still didn't know how to work her brand new digital camera. Most likely Sota just stood off to the side trying to make me screw up and laugh, to show off what I hated the most._

" Come on Kagome smile! Remember the time I tried to ride my bike down the stairs and I flipped over the handle the bars and fell on some lady? Come on let's see your smile Kagome."

_Sota wasn't help in the least bit. The bike thing was funny if anyone were to see it. Sota thought he was an extreme biker and could do tricks and going down the stairs backwards wasn't the smartest idea he had in mind, but funny._

_" Sota will you stop it! I'm not showing off my braces forget it!"_

_Within my anger fit my mother decided- without warning- to a picture of me anyways. She caught my braces; Seventeen and I was still damned with those stupid pieces of metal in my mouth._

" Too bad mom already got a nice shot of you with your braces. It's a pretty nice shot Kagome. I think I should show this to your boyfriend and let him see the real Kagome, he's been missing out on!"

_I was ready to knock him out at any given moment, but I changed my mind. He knew my mother would protect him no matter what so it wasn't the worth the fight._

" Oh Kagome I forgot to tell you, were going to spend time at Sango's place tonight. Only for abit. I also think it would be a nice idea for Kohaku and his mother to spend Christmas with us. This is probably their first Christmas alone without her, so we should make the best of it for them."

_My mother didn't have any desire to hang out at the high school any longer. She already had her car keys dancing from her fingertips, and was couldn't wait to go to her place and chat and catch up like they use to. Sota seemed pretty much excited that he'd be spending Christmas with Kohaku. _

" Were spending Christmas with them? Alright! If we're going over to Kohaku's place he better not have that stupid girl over again. She kills everything."

" Kohaku don't be so rude. Isn't that girl you had your eye on before Kohaku was with her?"

" Of course not!"

_Sota just crossed his arms and grumbled. It was true, that's why he was so mad when she was there at his place. Not only that but because Kohaku wouldn't do stupid things or play video games around her. _

" Mom I forgot to tell you. I was invited to a graduation party by Hojo and I was wondering if I can go."

_My mother just chuckled getting into the driver's seat of the car, and placing the key in the ignition and adjusting her rear view mirror._

" Hojo already asked me if it was alright. Of course you can. Hojo seems very pleased that you aren't blowing him off, or standing him up again."

_Sota stuck his tongue out, while I just wanted to die right then and there. I didn't think that to my family it was that obvious that I had made up so many excuses and lies just to get out of his romantic death grip he had on me._

" Well, there's a first for everything."

* * *

_I kept my eyes towards the window beside me. It was already pitch black, and half of the streets lights were either off or broken. We past by my old middle school already missing the days where everything seemed so simple. I couldn't help but watch the snow fall lightly towards the ground; As much as I hated winter for the cold and awful winds, it looked so beautiful at night when the moonlight was hitting the frozen branches of the trees and the blanket of snow. _

_We passed by an old apartment that my mom had lived it for a tiny while, when she was pregnant with me. She told me my dad had lived there originally, and had the biggest room in that whole entire building. She told me that he was a very handsome man, who always smiled and always had something good to say about someone. I always had to stare at that apartment, I almost felt compelled to knowing that my father had once lived there too. _

_While I stared longer at the huge apartment, the headlights caught a young group of teenage guys standing around smoking cigarettes and hiding underneath the shadows of the huge pine tree. The window was down enough for me to get a good look at them; The headlight caught a unique looking guy who had short black hair and a grim smile. The minute I stared them, he stared directly back at me without warning. It was the oddest feeling. Even when the car was at the lights, I could see his face staring at the direction of the car. _

_I slumped into my seat feeling embarrassed that I made another moment of unwanted attention. All I was excited about was being at the grad party. Knowing Hojo was there- made everything worth it. _


	4. Don't Forget To Breathe

_The car ride only seemed to drag on. Sota was already half asleep; his head against the cold window and his body wrapped around the small yellow blanket that was stashed in the back compartment of the back seat. My mother had the radio playing real low, of old songs she had on a tape that my father had made her years ago in high school. Every song he made he gave her to listen to, and she always listened to that single mixed tape every chance she had._

_All of us had never been so quiet; I just stood out the window looking at all the old buildings, and surroundings we past by in flash. Snow was still coming down, and I could only wonder why that guy was staring at me the way he did. I had guessed he had never seen a girl my age dressed up in a silky rouge dress, their done up and done professionally. His stare was different from the others; The others had the look like I had looked like something they'd take to their bedroom for a night and get rid of in the morning. I didn't know why I cared so much, I just did._

_Finally we had pulled into the driveway. The whole house hadn't changed one bit. It was an old looking house that was completely white, and a small red roof over their heads. They had an old water fountain garden theme directly in front of her living room windows, and an old huge oak tree that one single tire swing still hanging from the branch. Everyone else in their neighborhood had changed dramatically. Sango's house was the only one that still stayed the same after all these years._

" Guys were here. Sota honey, come on it's time wake up."

_Sota just groaned slowly throwing the blanket the side, and stepping out onto the concrete. I gently lifted my dress almost forgetting I still had the thing on._

" Mom how long are we going to stay? I'm really tired."

_Sota whined rubbing his eyes trailing along with my mother, who seemed more awake and cheery then all of us combined. Quietly we stepped onto the porch while I knocked on the door waiting for either Kohaku to run to the door, or her mother to greet out. My mother just messed up Sota's slicked back hair and waited patiently._

" Believe me we aren't going to stay long. Just long enough to consider it a nice visit. Kohaku will probably be there so time will go by fast."

_Finally I could hear heavy footsteps stumbling to reach the door. There was Kohaku with an excited smile painted on his face, dressed back into his regular army looking style clothes. He just opened the door and automatically ran to Sota doing their special handshake, and filled the inside of the house with laughter._

" Mom, the Higurashi's are here!"

_Kohaku's voice had deepened a lot. He use to have the same squeeky soft voice as Sota's but it had changed practically over night.

* * *

_

_The minute I had walked in the house smelt of cigarettes. Her house never smelt like that, ever. It always smell fresh and clear with candles lit, and air fresheners scattered through out the house hold. It seemed like her mother had taken up cigarettes pretty quickly. She was never the type to smoke. At one point she was practically against it since she had a friend of hers who had died from cancer because of her bad habit. _

_Her mother appeared with a wide smile, and a half lit cigarette in her left hand. The minute she saw my mother she opened her arms wide, giving her the biggest hug anyone could receive. They were laughing so hard, just so happy and overwhelmed to spend another moment together._

" It's been so long since you were here_!" Her mother chuckled while Sota and Kohaku had ran off into his room where all his video games were, and likely be playing for hours on end._

" I know! Last time I was here I was beating you at that game Bridge_." My mother responded with excitement remembering they played that game all the time when they were over at their house. It was almost like a tradition; Usually they would find the wine bottles and pour themselves some glasses and sit down and play like old times._

_I was glad everyone had someone to be close to, to be welcomed by. Kohaku would always have Sota by his side, and my mother would always have Sango's mom to gossip and appreciate too. I just felt an outcast. There was no one to welcome me with open arms, or gossip about or talk about life with. The world around me seemed so perfect, but it wasn't perfect for me anymore. There just didn't seem to be any room._

" Kagome you don't have to stand there like a stranger. You can come more into the house if you like."

_Sango's mother commented grabbing another chair towards the oval wooden table. She had finally put out the cigarette into the ashtray, watching the ashes fly off out of the tray. My mother was already in the fridge getting out some white wine, pouring it into classes setting up for a another game of Bridge._

" Kagome sweetheart, you know you can do whatever you want here. How about watching some tv, or hanging out with your brother? Hey, why not come over here and keep score for us?"

_Softly I nodded, there wasn't anything else I'd be able to do. It wasn't my idea of fun being around parents watching them play the same game after another. It was better than standing there at the front door all dressed up, and finding myself already lost and misunderstood._

_I had pulled out the seat and tried to get myself comfortable. I grabbed the notepad and paper and already marking off points for my mother who was way ahead._

" Higurashi , you missed a spot. So really I'm ahead of you! Kagome mark another checkmark for me because I'm winning against her! That's now two points ahead of you."

_The table was rumbling from Sango's mother banging her fists with excitement, grabbing the crystal glass full of wine and carefully placing it to her lips, and back onto the table. My mother just narrowed her eyes, staring at her cards ready to outdo her within any given moment._

" Look if it's alright with you two, I'm going to watch some television for abit."

_My mother grabbed the notepad and the pencil from me, and placed it directly beside her. I pushed the chair in, while my mother was barely picking up on the fact that nothing else quite the same anymore._

" Sure go right ahead Kagome. Make yourself comfortable.- **No fair you cheated on that hand!"**

_I could hear them continue on screaming and laughing, accusing each other of cheating every single second. I walked further around the house and just carefully placed myself at the bottom steps of the staircase. _

" _Why do I have to be the one out? Kohaku has Sota to be with, and my mother has his mother to play cards with, and enjoy each other's company. Why can't I have the same?"_

_My hands carefully held up on my head. I just watched the soft snow fall to the ground, the only thing that was making time for me go alittle bit faster. With my thoughts and watching the snowfall, I could hear someone storming down. There was Sota who looked upset more then ever.

* * *

_

" Hey kiddo, shouldn't you be upstairs with Kohaku?"

_Sota threw himself directly beside me on the same step. He still had his suit on, only the bow tie was undone and his slicked back hair was already back to normal. _

" Ya well, he failed to mention that **SHE **was here."

_I could see by looking he also felt like the odd one out like had the minute I stepped into the house. Sota just looked in the opposite direction feeling so upset and I couldn't blame him. Kohaku and him were always together making havoc, pulling pranks on everyone like me and Sango, or just sitting around playing video games. Now that Kohaku was dating, it just didn't seem that fun anymore. It wasn't only that, it was the girl Sota had his eye on for the longest time. He was ready to ask her out and next thing he knew his best friend had her before long._

_I was kind of glad that I wasn't the only one feeling that exact same way. It almost felt rude for me to even think that way. I wanted and expected my brother to be happy at their place, never the opposite. Softly, I placed my hand over his shoulder and pulled him in enough for him to feel comfortable and needed._

" Maybe Kohaku should of told you she was over here again. But, I understand why your upset. You feeling left out, ever since she came along. Does Kohaku ignore you when she's around though?"

_He sighed, and just titled his head enough to look at me and listen to what I had to say._

" No he doesn't. Just when I want to play our type of games he always tries to include her. Usually it never works, so lately he's been doing games all of us can do. Really it isn't that fun. Even if it's the girl I still like."

_I just smiled at my brother. We never had talks or spent time like this as brother and sister properly. Usually we were at each other's throats always trying to get the other one upset and tease them at every moment of the day. This was different. It was a once in a life time thing. _

" Kohaku it isn't easy I know. I think it's hard for Kohaku too when he has a girl friend and a best friend who acts like he hates her guts. Kohaku is trying to include you, and her to make it fair. Some boys his age don't include the friend at all. Your lucky Kohaku's nice. Look try to get along with both of them. You'd understand how hard it is if you loved someone too."

" I know, I know. Just isn't the same that's all. I felt left out."

_He just titled his head towards the kitchen where my mother, and Kohaku's were laughing it up and throwing more cards down on the table._

" Believe me I feel the exact same way. I thought I was left out. I guess I'm not the only one. Look, I'll come upstairs with you and I'll talk to her. Maybe you two can have enough time to play what you want. And maybe you should talk to her. Get to know her a lot more."

_Sota laughed almost amazed by what I said. " **Your serious? You'd do that for me?**_ You never do things for me, especially like this."

" Look I'm sister. I'm a pain in your ass and that's kind of my job. When it comes down to it, I help you out. So stop feeling sorry for yourself and **go up there**!"

* * *

_Sota's mood dramatically changed. He was already bolting up the stairs into his bedroom with laughter and a determined look on his face. When I looked in the room there was Kohaku laying on the fold out bed laying on his stomach at the edge of the bed with a controller in his hand, and his girl friend on the right side cuddled up to you, with Sota's controller in her palms._

" Hey man, where did you go?"_ Kohaku questioned keeping one eye on the screen and another one Sota._

_Sota placed himself on the floor, while I sat on the edge of the couch watching them slowly work everything out. His girl friend was a cute polite girl, who had blonde hair pulled back in a loose but high pony tail and wearing bright colors. Sota just smiled and looked at the two keeping in mind what I had said._

" I just went to get a drink that's all."_ Sota lied, while his girl friend beside him shyly looked down at Sota and at the controller._

" Here Sota, I took over the controller until got back. So here you can play against Kohaku. I got you way ahead of him."

_She gave a devilish smile, seeing Kohaku pounding so hard at the buttons on the controller I thought they were going to break. Sota blushed alittle and took the controller off of her, and smiled with thanks and placed himself comfortable on the floor. The girl just sat right beside me, holding her knees close to her chest watching them play on._

" You must be Kohaku's girlfriend. I'm Kagome. Sota's older sister."

_She was really a sweet girl. She looked pretty shy, and gave a small smile and forgotten all Kohaku and Sota playing against one another on the video game system. _

" I'm Lacey. Sota never told me he had a older sister. He said he was an only child, and had a pet named Kagome."

_Sota knew already I was glaring at him even if he couldn't see it, he could feel it. He just shivered and laughed it off knowing if those two weren't there I would of strangled him in a second._

" Sota likes to joke around. He thinks he's a "**comedian.**" He's alittle bit of a goof, but he's alright. How long have you been dating Kohaku?"

_She told me the whole story and finally opened up. She explained they had been dating no longer then two weeks, and she even told me that she bought presents for Kohaku as well. She even mentioned how much she enjoyed Sota's company and that she was secretly going to buy him a special gift as well. Sota was thankful that I had been spending time with her, so he had alittle bit more time with Kohaku._

_When I was talking to her I could see why Sota loved her a lot. Lacey just smiled when Sota had got alittle tired of playing and handed the controller back. The room looked so big, even if there was four of us in it. I had almost forgotten this was both Sango's and Kohaku's room. Sango's room was hidden in the corner, it was almost like another room but they were still joined.

* * *

_

_I trailed off from Kohaku's side of the room and into Sango's room that looked exactly the same. The minute I opened the room I could smell the scent of flowers, and the room had always smelt like that every time I came over. Quietly, I closed over the door looking around at everything that had her written all over it._

_Her room wasn't as big as her brother's but it was comfortable enough to be in. Her room was a beautiful pink that the theme of pink and yellow everywhere. Beside her huge queen size bed was two night stands that held her light, and small things she had received like cards, flowers or toys. She had a lot of pictures frames hanging through out the room. It was like as though she had never left in the first place. _

_I barely touched anything in there. I couldn't help but slowly walk around and take in everything that was laying out that was hers. She had received a lot of gifts from guys at our school, like flowers and written cards. A lot of guys were crazy about her. She had a photo frame book and in it was everyone, and her life. There was a lot of her and I. Stupid pictures with spoons hanging off our noses, and a lot of her family. There was something I recognized that stood against her dresser that I couldn't help but smile about._

_There was the jar full of change that was suppose to be towards our California trip. She had a lot of change in there differing from pennies to dollars. I carefully opened up the top to see a green note tucked away in the jar. Carefully I pulled it out and saw Sango's beautiful handwriting all over it that was towards me._

_Kagome,_

_I know this jar may not look like a lot with the change, but I've counted it so far and I have at least 500 dollars worth. I've got another jar too stashed away so all together almost a thousand! Can you believe it? So far it's probably only enough for the gas of an old RV. We are going to California no matter what! Hopefully you have a lot saved too. I can't wait to go with you. You have no idea!_

_Love, Sango._

_I was so happy to read that, nobody had no clue. By the look and the amount of change it sounded like she was saving up every other paycheck, and change she could possibly find towards that. It looked like she was ready to show me all the amounts of change she collected for the trip. Carefully I stuffed it back in it's original place, and wondered around a little more until I felt calm. _

_" All the money I have is probably five hundred dollars that I've saved."_

_I told myself looking at the last thing I hadn't looked at all; the closest. I opened slid open the doors to see all her clothes hanging out neatly of her unique tops and sweaters. There was one piece of clothing that stood out from the rest; her dress. It was black with no straps and cut into a V-shape and looked glittery. I knew it had to be her grad dress. It still had the tag on it showing the price, and she wasn't the one to buy expensive dresses like that. _

_My brother had wandering off from Kohaku and Lacey, to give them enough time to be alone. He knew I would bound to be in Sango's room since I missed her so much. He quietly shut the door behind him and could see me standing there motionless, and could hear me crying. He moved over to my side and hugged me tightly, knowing this was the hardest thing ever for me to get over._

**" _Kagome don't be sad."_**

_He spoke very soft but I couldn't help but laugh and cry at the same time. I was glad he was concerned for me, he was never like this. He carefully sat me on the very edge of the bed, and saw me catching every tear that fell. I knew I must of looked stupid to still be dressed up and be crying like that._

" I'm not, Sota don't worry. I'm happy just looking back on things about her. She was saving up money for a trip for her and I to go to California, and wrote a note to go with it. I even found her grad dress she had bought way ahead of time. I'm not sad, I'm just crying because I'm happy that's all. Why are you with Lacey and Kohaku?"

_He smiled, making sure there was a tear left on my cheek. " Because. I wanted to check up on my sister. I knew you'd be in here and I wanted to see if you were going to be alright. Plus I got to know Lacey, and maybe things aren't bad between all of us. I gave Lacey and Kohaku alone time since they haven't since I arrived."_

_My crying had finally subsided. I just hugged him tight enough, for being concerned and actually cared about me. I didn't feel so left out anymore, I felt a lot better just knowing someone understood me at all._

" Your so sweet Kohaku. It's already going on nine. We should be going anyways, and pull mom from her game of bridge."

Sota agreed coming out of the room noticing that Kohaku and Lacey were just in the process of kissing _each other. Sota thought nothing of it, and smiled at both of them._

" _I gotta leave. So I will see you two later."_

_Before he could step out of the room, he felt someone tug on the sleeve of his shirt. He turned around to see Lacey hugging him real tight as a good-bye and looked down._

" You don't hate me do you, Sota?"

_Sota felt bad. He realized the way he was acting made Lacey get the wrong impression. Sota shook his head, " **Of course not!"** "_ I'm glad. I was starting to think you did. Look before Christmas you should come to my place to hang out. If you want that is."

**" _Sure!"_**

_He smiled saying both good bye to Lacey and Kohaku. I just smiled at the thought and walked downstairs, to see Sota happier as ever. Sota just elbowed me in the ribs with this look on his face I don't think I'd ever forget._

" You were right all along Kagome. I guess Lacey isn't that bad! I got invited over to her house and everything!"

" See I told you, but you didn't believe me at first."

_Sota nodded while we stood at the base of the kitchen, seeing those two look like they had enough fun for one night._

" Mom I think it's time to go. Sota and I are both tired out."

_My mother carefully placed the two empty wine glasses on the counter, and placing the wine bottle back into the fridge. She helped Kohaku's mom place the cards back into the proper sleeve, and made sure the table was clean and cleared. My mother smiled while Kohaku's mother just finished another cigarette._

" I think we should get going. Thank you so much for the night. Remember I kicked your butt this time at bridge!"

" Give a date and I'll will sure beat you to it!"

_We all waved off closing the door tightly behind. Sota seemed to have a bounce in his step ever since Lacey and him had gotten on good terms, and when Lacey kindly invited Sota for a visit before Christmas. Myself I was pleased what I had found in Sango's room. _

_Carefully we climbed into the back of the car, while my mother could see Sota and I were partly asleep as she continued to drive. Sota had the yellow blanket all wrapped around him, and he kindly gave me half of the blanket. It had been a good visit. My mother kept looking back seeing both of us out in the back._

" _I guess both of them had a good time." She softly whispered to herself heading straight back home.

* * *

Author's Notes: To answer everyone's question yes Inuyasha will appear soon. I promise!Also you'll understand the title soon, just not this moment. Miroku may just show up in it :)Don't expect this to a normal fanfic either. It has alot of twists in it. This story is getting started. So please R&R _


	5. Imaginary

**" Your what!"**

_Ayumi screamed in outrage, sitting rudely on someone's desk swinging her legs finishing her handful of Oreos. She carefully placed another gently enough making sure her gum and food wouldn't touch each other._

" I can't believe you Kagome!"

_Ayumi spat a wade of Oreos out of her mouth, watching it hit someone on the cheek. She tried to sincerely apologize to the girl who had a scowl, as she wiped of the crumbs that were on her cheek. _" That your backing out of another party AGAIN!"

_While everyone else was busy doing their assignments, and taking care of customers at the office Ayumi and I always took the time to sit on random desks or lean against the wall, and chat. Ayumi knew about the graduation party, everyone did. It was going to be big hit; everyone had been talking about since the day of our graduation._

_Carefully I laid back in the chair looking at the stacks of papers, trying to pretend I was looking like I was doing something constructive when the manager walked by. When the coast was clear, I gathered my breath and continued the conversation._

" That was close."

_Ayumi mentioned holding her hand over her heart. _" I thought he was going to grab me by the side again._" Ayumi fixed her hair that was wrapped neatly in a bun. _

" I had talk with him, that you were dropping off papers. It took a lot of convincing. Back to the party scenerio."

_Ayumi agreed looking back and forth at the walls and the beautifully hung paintings inspired by Japan, then back to being excited about the party._

" You have to go. I mean there's no ifs, ands, or buts! It's the party of the year. I know you hate it but everyone we know is bound to be there. There's going to be drinks, food everything. And you_, " She paused having a cunning smile on her face. " _Can look forward to seeing Hojo."

_I twirled around simply amused in the chair and stopped when she made that comment. The room just went suddenly quiet, and my face was already flushing from the facial expression on Ayumi's face._

" Come on, it wouldn't hurt Kagome. I mean after all it's better than sitting at home missing the life we had, and our friends. Including Sango. There's no need for moping around. I know you very well, more then you know yourself. You'll thank me later believe me."_ Ayumi mentioned placing her fingers at the corners at my mouth forcing a smile, and jabbing me in the ribs until a spat of laughter showed. _" I've always told you, one day could chance your life."_ Ayumi tried to keep a positive up beat but I just shook my head and watched more employees trot past the door, and back to the piles of papers._

" Your right about that." _I referred to Sango when spoke that sentence. It had so much significance. One day could change your life could mean anything. Most good and a lot bad. I wanted so badly just to decline from the party and finish my shift, and go home. Lay there staring at the painting on my ceiling I got lost in. Lost in black and white photos of the past, letting the world continue to past me by. Hear Ayumi call me back partly sober and tell me how the party was. Something inside was insisting me to go to this party. It was too strong to ignore it. I was always the one to avoid things; paranoid of something so simple afraid it would ruin me._

"Maybe your right. It wouldn't hurt to live once in awhile."

_I couldn't help but smile. Ayumi's depressed face changed when she heard the words she never thought would come from my mouth. She flew off of the table in excitement, throwing me into a tight headlock seeing my smile- for once I wasn't faking it either._

" There you go! I knew it. I knew I'd finally get through to you someday. I thought it was impossible but it isn't. I just proved the impossible is possible! I'm so glad your in Kagome. We all thought we lost you completely."

_Ayumi threw her arm around me rejoice. I knew if the rest of the girls were around they'd create attention with their victory dances and loud laughing voices. Even though it was just Ayumi, I could already hear the others. She made up for all others not being there. Quickly, I covered her mouth knowing Ayumi didn't have control over her tone of voice. She couldn't even whisper without two other people hearing. _

_" Shhh.. are you trying to get both of us fired?" _

_My eyes narrowing seeing the boss was standing idly by the door slowly peaking in, seeing Ayumi had enough time to hide in the corner, while I just smiled at the boss and looked like I was a hard worker all along. The boss just nodded kindly, fixed his long bloody tie and headed off inspecting the rest of the work place. Ayumi dramatically placed her hand over her forehead, and stunned by all the time we had wasted._

" We have five minutes until we leave this bloody place! That means I'm going home gathering some sleep, and getting ready to party!"

_Ayumi twirled the pencil between her fingers, so exciting about events like that. Usually she was only excited because this was the last time everyone from school would be together, and from that point on we'd all go our separate ways like we never knew each other ever existed.We'd only find someone of us down the road- some working at a food joint for the rest of their lives, or some who were already married and with a family. I enjoyed the teenage life. It was annoying that you weren't exactly a kid or an adult either, but you got away with a lot of things. I just wasn't ready to accept it was over. I wasn't ready to be engaged, be in a serious commitments, or even go to College or University. I didn't like the change. I didn't know where or who I was going to be, and that thought scared me._

" Well somehow you talked me into it. I don't know how but you did." _I told her with my laugh full of laughter knowing I was a very hard person to deal with, when it came to problems like this. She just sighed in relief digging her knuckles playfully into my head._

" Well you are a very hard person to persuade. I must say that. I know you'll have fun. I mean half of the people there are friends, basically family to all of us. Everyone is going there separate ways, which I hate to admit it but the teenage years are done. Now we get to look forward to being adults_."_

_Ayumi spoke with barely any pep or cheeriness when she spoke the last sentence. When we were younger all of us idolized to be grown up, to be married, have kids living the childish dream. Being adult came with tons of responsibilities, and not all of it was fun and games like we believed it would be._

_We both stared at the clock with excitement seeing our shift was finally done and over with. Ayumi grabbed the extra papers on the desk, and swing her hips down the hall the minute the cute new worker had finally noticed her existence. She giggled, with the flirty like hand over her mouth, and her cheeks raised until her eyes disappeared. The young guy shifted his hand over his hair in nervousness, seeing he wasn't use to this kind of attention from girls._

_Ayumi quietly nudged me in the elbow, her eyes widened with surprise and eager excitement. "_ Did you see him? Did you-" _I just shook my head knowing this was the girl I knew and loved. " "_Yes I-" _"_ He was so cute! Not only that but I've only talked to him at least two times. Not enough to know him just yet. I think he's name is Jake..John.. who cares he's a very nice guy though."

_I couldn't even get a word in without her constant blabbing about how cute this guy was, or how she wanted to be his faithful girlfriend and go to the movies, and share each other drinks and stories. She was a smart, funny girl but all her seriousness she had washed away the minute a guy with an attractive appearance was in the area. She then transformed into a ditzy over obsessed girl who believes she's in love. It happened all the time. Even when we stopped in at a store.

* * *

_

" How long can she possibly take to get skittles?"_ Eri was already furious that we were already at least five minutes late from missing one of the best box office movies ever made. Eri loaded up the car, idling angrily her foot on the gas ready to just leave the parking lot and let Ayumi walk back herself._

" _**Look if your so pissed off then quit your whining and go drag her out yourself!"** Yuka explained dropping her candies from her hands, her eyes narrowed at her ready to bash each other in at any given moment._

" _**Maybe I will! Were going right now. She's flirting with another damn clerk again and I'm not missing out on another thing again!"** Eri pressed on the gas petal hard already in the motion of reversing when she was stopped._

" Look if you'd like I'll go her. I mean it's stupid to sit here and argue. I'll be right back with her_."_

_Sango was the only normal, tamed one out of the group. She carefully slid from her seat of the old truck, wearing nothing but a plain gym shirt and her normal partly ripped stylish jeans. She was always the ones breaking everyone up from being at each other's throats, always trying to keep all of us in order in place. It seemed without her at that time we'd never be able to get along with anyone at all._

_She strolled along where I had been trying to drag Ayumi out the front door. Of course when she talked to guys it was like she was so focused on him, never anything else. She had half of her body over the counter, her elbow swiftly to the side and had a whole bunch of food she placed there, only to talk to the guy a lot longer._

" Really? That's interesting_." She smiled with delight, batting her eyelashes in such a way the guy looked like he wasn't even interested in doing his job anymore. He kept a wide smile on, and slowly scanned the items and continued chatting._

" Well I've only had this job a few months. My parents forced me to after I had gotten in trouble with a group of friends."

_She twirled her hair and giggled. "_ Really…Tell me more."

_Before the young eighteen year old clerk could go on with his story, Sango flew open the doors and whispered something in Ayumi's ear that changed her mind completely to even talk to the guy. Ayumi waved goodbye, and Sango made everything look so easy, so simple. She always did. She was a gifted girl, and still is._

_In my thoughts, we were already out the door into the chill of winter. Ayumi threw on her leather gloves and shivered knowing she pitifully had to take the bus, since she lived so far away. When the bus stopped, she flashed a smile and a huge hug as though we'd never seen each other again. _

" Kagome, I'm glad you've decided to go to the party. C'ya there!" _She smiled, turning around giving her bus past and seeking the empty seat beside the eighteen year old. I knew she was going to take that opportunity to sit down, and use her famous lines to start talking. In five minutes she would know his name, number, and his whole life story. It was likely she'd have a fling with him, and before then she'd be back to her same routine._

_

* * *

_

_The bus hauled down the street for a group of what appeared like the regular shoppers at the mall, and before long it disappeared into the night of winter. Carefully I sat pitifully against the bench behind me, and watched the snowflakes slowly fall. I just laid back and saw how our lives all changed. Ayumi and I were best pals because of Sango's introductions, even Yuka and Eri. Ever since Sango's death most of us spilt apart into other groups of friends. For awhile Eri was hanging out with different crowds until she realized, she liked us more then any others._

_Just when the warmth of my body was gone, and counted all the red cars in the parking lot there he was coming up the rear._

" Higurashi, I'm sorry I left you waiting. I had to get a few things for the party."

_Hojo smiled sincerely, and leaned over and popped open the door and shifted all the bags of food and essentials into the back allowing me to my room to sit. He changed the radio to my favourite station without me even asking this time, doing everything to make me feel comfortable and content._

" That's quite alright. I was standing around with Ayumi for abit. She decided to take the bus, and I wasn't waiting that long."

_Hojo placed his foot hard on the brake, watching the light just snag him into staying for a red light. He sighed, knowing this happened always when I was in the passenger seat. I wanted to laugh at his expensive but I resisted from the facial expression on his face. He slung his leather jacket neatly over the seat, and had enough time to rest his opposite arm in behind my head._

" I'm glad. Ayumi could of hitched a ride of us. I have no problem with her at all."_ He made small talk as we were getting closer to our streets, and the familiar surroundings. He tried to multi-task by keeping his eyes on the road, and his eyes on me. He could never drive without being distracted in someway or another._

_In the dark, feeling things become more awkward as the ride progressed. Usually him and I had so much to say to each other but since the party was brought up, there was nothing left. Hojo was already planning to move far as possible, where his new job would be. He'd be in a warm climate all year, a place beautiful and tropical. He'd be sending letters, finding them more exciting then a phone call. _

" _Hey look Higurashi. Do you want go straight home? I mean you can come to my place before the party. It would be a lot of fun, and besides it's been along time.. Get some movies, watch TV like old times. That's if you want, totally up to you."_

_Even in the dark my features, and my smile were noticeable. I wasn't going to decline or run away from my fears I was going to accept them. _

" _Sure. I mean it's not like I'm going to dress up fancy or anything for this party. We might as well waste some time until then."_

_He was ready to turn down my street until he heard my answer. He changed the signal from left to right, and headed further up the main street. While we went further into the dark side streets we past the old apartment building once again. I knew I didn't want to go with Hojo but I couldn't back down. All I did in my life was run away from everything. That's all I knew how to do after my father's and Sango's death. I didn't want to be that girl anymore. _

_We past by my father's old apartment, the only living memory of him. Gazing at the weak looking apartment I could hear my mother's voice clearly telling me about the history of it, and her and my father. Everytime I saw it I couldn't help but stare at it. It was just one of those things, only a person who close to being in my shoes could understand. Within my gaze I saw the same group of guys again. _

_The guys stood close to the edge of the sidewalk, their shadows casted by the single burning streetlight. The black hair guy stood plainly with only an old ratty looking jacket, with a few buttons and things clipping it together. It looked like he was barely kept together at all. His face was partly sunken in, and partly fit. He stood there with a sideways smile when he saw my face, and it made my stomach twist in turn. He just flashed a jerkish like smile at me, and backed away from sidewalk. _

" You alright Kagome?

_I just laughed it off. I didn't understand why he was always around when I was. I thought maybe he was just a drunk pervert, or something along those lines. The look he gave off was hard enough to explain. He looked like he had something to say, and I didn't even want to hear it. I knew without the car-or Hojo- I might be considered vulerable. I only wondered if I were to walk past him would he leave me, or approach me. I didn't know, and I tried not even to think about it. _

_After we passed I still felt tense. Hojo slowly pulled in the driveway, and nicely opened up the door. The way that guylooked, he could of been one of those guys who took Sango away. I just swallowed, trying to keep my paranoid thoughts at bay. The last thing I wanted to think of was something like that. _


End file.
